“11. Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”
“12. I’m not fat, God gave me airbags cause I’m precious.”
“13. I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.”
“14. I officially resign from adulthood. Decisions will be made using the eenie-meanie mini-moe method and arguments will be settled by sticking out my tongue. I’ll be at recess if you need me.”
“15. Wouldn’t it be so great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle-free… and three sizes smaller?”
