Following are the short funny quotes and funny slogans.
Funny Slogans
“If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea… does that mean that one enjoys it?”
“When there’s a will, I want to be in it!”
“Drugs, because life is supposed to suck”
“Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.”
“3 out of 2 people have trouble with fractions”
“Everything is funnier when you’re not allowed to laugh”
“People say you can’t live without love, I think oxygen is more important”
“It is not Cheating, it’s teamwork”
“voices in my head may not be real but they have some good ideas”
“A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.”
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes”
“You can’t be late until you show up.”
“Save the planet, we have nowhere else to go!”
“I’m Kind of a Big Deal”
“Life is a pretty cheesy game, but at least it has good graphics”
“Irish I Were Drunk”
“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens”
“I’m in Shape: Round Is a Shape”
“Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?”
“I’m 35% funny & 75% bad at Math”
“Go Green, There is no Planet B”
“Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you”
“Bad Cop, No Donut”
“Sex is not the answer, yes is the answer”
“Shortcuts cut life short”
“The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!”
Funny Good Morning Quotes and Wishes
“Potty like a rock star”
“My favourite subject in school is nothing”
“I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions?”
“Don’t steal. The government hates competition.”
“Listen to Ghostface”
“Liking your own status on facebook”
“I Fuck on the First Date”
“I hate math but I love counting money”
“Blink if You Want Me”
“Learn from others mistakes; don’t have others learn from you”
“Be Honest with Yourself: Leave the Lying to Others”
“It’s much easier to apologize then it is to get permission”
“When all else fails, lower your standards.”
“Overpopulation… too much of a good thing.”
“Growing up is amazing until you get old!”
“Smoking helps you relax in the graveyard”
“On the other hand, you have different fingers”
“We Don’t Fuck With You Musically”
“I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.”
“Dear math grow up and solve your Problems”
“Happiness is your last exam paper”
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
“It could be worse. What if sex was fattening?”
“I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t like the thought of being gone so long!”
“Vegetarian: Indian word for BAD HUNTER!”
“Haters Gonna Hate”
“Shit Happens when you Party Naked”
“Don’t Taze Me, Bro”
“Protect your hands, you need them to pick up your paycheck”
“I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode”
“Eat Smart, Don’t fart”
“Dear Math, I’m not a therapist, solve your own problems”
“Cool people don’t need to go to school”
“Age is a very high price to pay for maturity”
“Life is too short to remove USB safely”
“An onion a day keeps everyone away”
“I don’t find it hard to meet expenses. They’re everywhere.”
“Be alert, your wife needs you”
“If You See Da Police, Warn a Brother”
“Pretending to concentrate in class so the teacher won’t ask you a question”
“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”
“If You See Da Police Warn a Brother”
“This Is Why I’m Hot”
21 Funny Children Quotes
“D.A.R.E.: To Keep Kids Off Drugs”
“Conserve water, shower with a friend!”
“Fat-free is the way to be”
“A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.”
“If you can read this, the bitch fell off.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go”
“Stop destroying our planet, It’s where I keep all my stuff”
“Was today really necessary?”
“If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.”
“Facebook: We know more about you than the FBI”
“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. For example, toilet paper.”
“Math, mental abuse to humans”
“Life is designed to kick your ass”
“So many cats so little time”
“Whatever hits the fan will not be distributed evenly”
“My eyes are up here”
“Keep calm & say no to school”
“School: Seven crappy hours of our life”
“Keep the Earth clean not only your bed”
“Smoke because life is too long”
“Save water & drink champagne”
“Who Farted?”
“I’d Hit That”
“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth”
“I Am the Man from Nantucket”
“Don’t Funk With Mother Nature”
“High school looks so much cooler on TV”
“After Tuesday even the calendar says W T F”
“I Shaved My Balls for This?”
“Your mouth is key to your health”
“Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.”
“Keep calm & bunk from school”
“If your feet smell and your nose run, I’m pretty sure you were built upside-down”
“Guns Don’t Kill People, I Kill People”
“Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.”
“The gene pool could use a little chlorine.”
“I Do What The Voices In My Head Tell Me”
“Welcome to New York, Duck Motherfucker”
“Heaven won’t take me and hell’s afraid I’ll take over.”
“No one ever says, “It’s only a game” When their team is winning”
“Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.”
“I Support Single Moms”
“Weight, I’m gainin’ it”
“One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor”
“I’m objective; I object to everything.”
“Without school, it’s really hard to know what day it is”
“Nobody is ugly after 2 am”
“What Are You Looking At Dicknose”
“My life is very complicated drinking game”
“Life is a bitch, so learn how to fuck it”
“Drink Til You Want Me”
“All my life, I thought the air was free until I bought a bag of chips”
“Don’t Drink and Drive, You might hit a bump and spill something”
“Fart now Loading”
“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception. ~ Groucho Marx”
“School kills”
“As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.”
“I am on a VODKA diet!”
“Stop! School Ahead”
“Don’t tell me the skies are the limits when there are footprints on the moon”
33 Funny & Inspirational Sunday Quotes
“Sorry for Partying”
“When nothing goes right……..go left”
“Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.”
“Rule of math, if it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong”
“Homework because 7 hours of school wasn’t enough”
“Life’s too short to go to school”
“Some people hear voices, Some see invisible people, there have no imagination whatsoever.”
“There’s life without Facebook and the Internet? Really? Send me the link”
“Diplomacy – the art of letting someone have your way.”
“69 percent people find something dirty in every sentence”
“Don’t do drugs, Alcohol is effective”
“Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver”
“I Wish These Were Brains”
“I’m with Stupid”
“Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control”
“The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive”
“FBI: Female Body Inspector”
“Fuck You You Fucking Fuck”
“I’m Not as Think as You Drunk I Am”
