“71. When your wife says she needs a new broom, it’s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.”
“72. That awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains and it walks right past you…”
“73. My mom taught one: Religion……….”You better pray that comes out of the carpet” Logic…………”Because i said so, that’s why” Irony…………..”keep crying and i’ll give you something to cry about” Wisdom…………”when you get to my age you’ll understand” Justice…………”one day you’ll have kids, i hope they turn out just like you!! Repost this if your mom taught you well..”
“74. I love my six-pack so much, i protect it with a layer of fat.”
“75. My dog is not a pet. My dog is family!”
“76. Dear Mcdonalds, thank you for not serving you for not serving hot dogs. I don’t think i could order a super-sized Mcweiner with a straight face.”
“77. If mama aint happy, ain’t nobody happy… If grandma ain’t happy… Run!”
“78. If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it. If a problem can not be solved, what is the use of worrying?”
“79. Anybody else have a voice in their head that repeats, “slap the idiot! Slap the idiot!” No? Just me? Hmmmm. Odd.”
“80. Friendship isn’t about whom you’ve known the longest its about who came and never left your side.”
