“I may not wake up with a man, but I wake up with coffee, and coffee doesn’t hide a cell phone and lie about talking to other women.”
“Like Dorothy, I attract men who are brainless, heartless, or cowards.”
“Our break up was due to religious differences. He thought he was a God. I didn’t.”
“Who cares? I’m awesome.”
“What’s better than having a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day? Being single on February 15th. All the wine and candy is half off, and no one cares if you get fat.”
“Take it. Take another little pizza my heart now baby.”
“Current relationship status: made dinner for two. Ate both.”
“Getting into a relationship seems like a good idea but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there.”
“If a guy wants you for your breasts, thighs, and legs, send him to KFC. You’re a lady, not a cheap value meal.” — Nicolas Cage
“The day a man makes me happier than chips and queso with a frozen margarita is the day I’ll get married.”
