71. I hear if you drink every day you are an alcoholic which is why I only drink every night”
72. Hey Google… why don’t you sit next to me during my exam?”
73. I’m currently making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you’re one of them.”
74. If you don’t get it, you’re too young”
75. That face you make when the person you hate is talking”
76. I’m as broke as a tooth fairy in a house full of meth heads.”
77. You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.”
78. On the day I was born angels looked into my cozy little crib, gazed upon my cherubic face & declared ‘This one is going to be trouble.’”
79. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.”
80. When you’re trying to be mad at your husband but you know in his own weird way he’s a good man and you are a little crazy sometimes”
