51. Somewhere, somebody out there is thinking of you and the tremendous impact you’ve made on their life. It isn’t me… I think you’re a fucking idiot.”
52. So today at church a guy in a suit tried to drown me and I kid you not, my family just stood there taking pictures”
53. Do you have a date for valentine’s day? Yes. February 14th”
54. Anal doesn’t seem like such a bad idea now!”
55. I know the voices aren’t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas”
56. I’m a pretty nice person, but I also realize that if there were an asshole championship, I would place respectfully in my weight division.”
57. Girls who say, #A lot of guys are after me”, should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.”
58. Superwoman: single batwoman: single wonder woman: single I get it now… I’m single because I’m a superhero.”
59. Based on my current rate of income, I estimate a comfortable retirement about 200 years after my death!”
60. I was hoping for a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed”
