21. Stabs your gums Dentist: #You’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
22. That look you give the cashier when she scans the ky jelly”
23. Life is hard but when you fall down pick yourself up and say ‘Who the hell pushed me?’”
24. Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.”
25. Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.”
26. *Use your own word, don’t just copy from the textbook” book: he died in 1987 me: 1987 was when he died.”
27. Not sure if this says, #is loved” or #I sharted”
28. A woman brought a very limp duck… A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the buck’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, #I’m sorry, your duck Cuddles has passed away”. The distressed woman wailed. #Are you sure?”
29. I’m so tired of 1. Fake friends 2. Drama 3. Liars 4. Being ignored 5. Getting hurt”
30. The older I get, the meaner I get. I’m pretty sure it won’t be long before I start biting people.”
