“15. My friend thinks he’s smart, he said onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.”
“16. They call it a “selfie” because “narcissistie” is too hard to spell.”
“17. I’m a huge fan of saying “you’re welcome” really loud when people don’t say thank you.”
“18. IF I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF I WOULD CLIMB YOUR EGO AND JUMP TO YOUR IQ.”
“19. I was addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around”
“20. I don’t have a short temper. I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.”
“21. an apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough”
“22. I really do try to see the best in people. But seriously.. Some of you fuckers are making it so damn hard.
