“41. Carrots may be good for your eyes… but booze will double your vision.”
“42. If you see me smiling it’s because I’m thinking of doing something evil or naughty if you see me laughing it’s because I’ve already done it.”
“43. There are 2 kinds of people in this world: 1) Morning people 2) People who want to shoot morning people.”
“44. Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons… They forgot to mention morons.”
“45. It’s Friday!! Sorry… Just practicing for tomorrow.”
Funny Sayings
“46. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”
“47. No matter how old I get I will always have to sing the ABC’s to figure out what letter comes next.”
“48. Warning! Bitching at me to do things won’t make me do them any faster if anything I’ll take even longer just to piss you the suck off.”
“49. Best Friends are like siblings from different parents. If thought bubbles appeared above my head I would be screwed.”
“50. Sometimes, the best revenge is to smile, move on, and do nothing.”
