“31. A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness and a friend like me… Well… that’s a sign of good taste.”
“32. I watch people and wonder how some of them found their way out of the birth canal.”
“33. When you cry nobody sees your tears, when you are worried nobody sees your pain, when you are happy nobody sees your smile, but you fart just one time …OMG….”
“34. Yeah, I’ve got O.C.D Old cranky and dangerous.”
“35. Let me check my giveashitometer. Nope, nothing.”
“36. Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.”
“37. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.”
“38. I changed my car horn to sound like gunshots… People get out of the way much faster now.”
“39. I have taken myself hostage. If you ever want to see me again, send me $1,000 for ransom.”
“40. Police: where do u live? Me: with my parents. Police: where do your parents live? Me: with me. Police: Where do you all live? Me: Together Police: where is your house? Me: next to my neighbor’s house. Police: where is your neighbor’s house? Me: you won’t believe me if I tell you. Police: Tell me! Me: Next to my house.”
