“An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.”— Unknown
“Be the reason someone smiles today…or the reason they drink. Whatever works.” — Unknown
“When someone says ‘Expect the unexpected,’ slap them and say ‘You didn’t expect that, did you?'”— Unknown
“I don’t care about my Prince Charming. Where the forest animals that clean?” — Unknown
“Before having a kid, the most important thing to ask yourself is ‘Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?'” — Unknown
“I see all these moms who can do everything, and I think…I should have them do some stuff for me.” — Unknown
“Remember if you can’t say something nice…make it funny.” — Unknown
“If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.” — Unknown
“Spend your life doing strange things with weird people.” — Unknown
“People are a–holes. Just make sure you’re not the toilet paper.” — Unknown
