#71. I hear if you drink every day you are an alcoholic which is why I only drink every night”
#72. Hey Google… why don’t you sit next to me during my exam?”
#73. I’m currently making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you’re one of them.”
#74. If you don’t get it, you’re too young”
#75. That face you make when the person you hate is talking”
#76. I’m as broke as a tooth fairy in a house full of meth heads.”
#77. You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.”
#78. On the day I was born angels looked into my cozy little crib, gazed upon my cherubic face & declared ‘This one is going to be trouble.’”
#79. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.”
#80. When you’re trying to be mad at your husband but you know in his own weird way he’s a good man and you are a little crazy sometimes”
