#21. *Stabs your gums* Dentist: #You’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
#22. That look you give the cashier when she scans the ky jelly”
#23. Life is hard but when you fall down pick yourself up and say ‘Who the hell pushed me?’”
#24. Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.”
#25. Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.”
#26. *Use your own word, don’t just copy from the textbook” book: he died in 1987 me: 1987 was when he died.”
#27. Not sure if this says, #is loved” or #I sharted”
#28. A woman brought a very limp duck… A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the buck’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, #I’m sorry, your duck Cuddles has passed away”. The distressed woman wailed. #Are you sure?”
#29. I’m so tired of 1. Fake friends 2. Drama 3. Liars 4. Being ignored 5. Getting hurt”
#30. The older I get, the meaner I get. I’m pretty sure it won’t be long before I start biting people.”
