#91. Kindness makes you the most beautiful person in the world no matter what you look like.”
#92. Every time things get rough at work, I hear DMX singing #Y’all gonna make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here.”
#93. I’m not an asshole, I’m hemorrhoid. I irritate assholes.”
#94. Do you ever meet someone for the first time and want to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?”
#95. It takes real skill to choke on air, fall upstairs and trip over completely nothing… I have that skill.”
#96. The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time.”
#97. If you’re arguing with a woman and she says #Wow”… Run.”
#98. I can’t come into work today because I’m sick of this shit”
#99. 1988: Don’t get in the car with strangers. 2002: Don’t meet people on the internet. 2018: Upper”
#100. I lost myself trying to please everyone else. Now, I’m losing everyone while I’m finding myself.”
